(＃￣▽￣)ｄ

Six o’clock in the morning. Sunday. I finally decide to leave my bed, instead of lying there for another ten or twenty minutes. I want to go to McDonald’s. Well, not because I love the food there. It’s the only place I can get something to eat six in the morning.

So, I go out side. The weather is great. Wet. Cool. And there are very few people on the street, which is great. I like Hong Kong this way.

I order a sausage muffin. Wait for a minute or two. Then find a seat. Eat.

I take out my pencil and draw a few sketches on the receipt. I always do this whenever I find a piece of paper while eating. Anyway, as usual, this is what I draw:

ｂ(￣▽￣||)
(＃￣▽￣)ｄ
ｂ(￣▽￣)ｄ

I believe it is easy to understand. Yeah, they are showing their fingers. So, why do I draw this? I don’t know. Perhaps I do it because they look funny. Or because I have nothing else to do. Or simply, I hate everything.

There are so many things to hate. First of all, I hate Hong Kong. Hell, there are so many people everywhere that I don’t want to go out especially during holidays.

Then, I hate myself. I am such a loser. I am doing nothing. Why am I here? I should be doing something more significant instead of ... sitting here.

Wait. Why am I here? Why my parents decided to have me in the first place? Did I have any options? Do we ever have the choice? If people can choose their parents, then, why did I choose my parents? And, why did I decide to be a human?

Listening to the radio. Watching the almost deserted mall, most of the lights are still off. Perfect. Looking around, in this friggin McDonald’s. And, chewing the muffin ... chewing ... weird. I suddenly feel I am living again. Like I find something to grab hold of.

I don’t know.

Maybe hate is just another way to spell love. Another way to show your passion.

Well, if I did have the choice, I believe this must be a good one. The best one. So I don’t care what the hell is going on right now, or why I am such a loser. All I know is, I am an ordinary guy and I am grateful to ... I don’t know what it is that I am grateful to. Anyway, I am grateful to something, ha ha.

I am not going to say I am going to make my life better. But I do hope I go to bed earlier tonight.